Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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