careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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