please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
