She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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