That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
