You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
