There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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