My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
