Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You ate ashes out of my bong
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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