its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
