4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Acid is not a monday night drug
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
