Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
