I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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