you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
