DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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