just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
