I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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