That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
