She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
