Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
