this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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