He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
