Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
