carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
