I hate all girls vehemently.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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