I'm really into asian looking animals
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
