I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
