just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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