I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
