Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
