loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I skipped work to stalk him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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