She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize