I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
