Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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