ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
