hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize