The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
