I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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