Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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