why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
