I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
