Your face is a jimmy john
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
