I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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