Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
