How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
