She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize