so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
