the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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