She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
