ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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