And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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