So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
