I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
