No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
