So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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