just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
