smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
