my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
