i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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