wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
