Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
