how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize