is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
organizing the empties. That sober.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
