Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
